I was about twenty five when that happened I think; full of passion. I had a dream of how I wanted to live and it wasn’t happening, at all. Actually my life was going backwards and at pace. I had no money, no clients, my friendship circle was getting smaller and any strategy I had to remedy the situation was failing.
My adrenals are still pumping. My day has been one of cutting crisis off at the pass, dealing with difficult people and getting nervous about things I may have missed or forgotten. There is now no risk of any significance yet my adrenalin still has me wired. Scared. Anxious.
What am I scared of? What is this anxiety? Why can’t I switch off and enjoy just being happy?
I try to rationalize it away yet something inside of me, something that should not be ignored, says I am not safe. That at any second this magic moment will be shattered by something unpleasant. I want to switch the angst off but maybe this angst is sending me a message I need to pay attention to. So I keep listening for the message. Read More
No matter how many space cadets you have interviewed or how many awesome people have slipped through your fingers, the high performer you dream of does exist and is available.
Mind you, attracting and retaining them is a skill and may require you to fine tune some aspects of your own game to reel them in. Success requires strong leadership throughout the whole process; if you fail to lead you will lose. Read More
Somehow, each year I start off with the best intention but as the year continues my life and diary seems to get more and more complicated.
There are the things that I want to do/create/experience, yet at the end of each day or even month I rarely feel closer to those things. Not as much as I would like anyway.
So during the end of the year Christmas break I mentally log where my time went to understand what the hell has been slowing down my progress? Read More
Reading a resume can be just like reading an internet dating profile. Everyone says the same stuff, completely unaware they are BORING! The profile typically gives the reader nothing they could fall in love with. We could delete the name at the top and it could be anyone.
“I am a fun, happy and love to travel. Family is really important to me and on the weekends I enjoy hanging out with friends going for breakfast and maybe a cheeky glass of wine (red) in the evening.”
No kidding?! Wow!!! Who would have thought you love family, friends, wine and you think you are fun?! Who would have thought!
Unfortunately for them, that is probably 97% of the population. Seriously!! It is a competitive market out there! Everyone ‘thinks’ they are an awesome catch but how can someone fall in love with you without knowing what makes you unique?
Finish The Year Strong
It is mid November and with the end of the year only a few weeks away, many of those goals you had at the start of the year can suddenly seem unlikely. The tendency is that they now need to be on next years to-do list… again. And it feels crap.
Do be fair on yourself. Many ambitions do legitimately get railroaded by life’s bigger plans; loss of a loved one, a new role at work, unexpected bills, break ups, marriages, fall outs, babies, unexpected travel, illness and just life stuff. These require legitimate energy and attention.
At some point we all need to ask ourselves; do we want to just look successful or actually be successful? Are we trying to look good? Or actually ‘be’ good?
Are we investing our efforts into appearing a certain way, or into being the real deal?
Because depending on which one we choose, we will experience radically different levels of personal fulfillment.
We live in an era where, with a credit card, social media and a filter, we can bluff the world into thinking that we have a level of success far above what is true. We can portray an image of wealth, confidence and idealism, all the while our day-to-day experience is empty and unfulfilling.
Deep down however we don’t want to ‘appear’ wealthy, happy and successful. We want to actually be wealthy, happy and successful. We want authentic success and the legitimate emotions of confidence, calm and happiness that comes with it.
Where ‘appearing’ successful is all about he story we tell the world, Authentic Success is about the evidence we create. The tangible indicators that we are the ‘real deal’.
Increase Your Goal Capacity
When we set a goal, inherent in its character, it will be beyond our present capacity.
Even a goal to paint the fence on the weekend will require adjustment to our present weekend habit.
We have the capacity to paint the fence, but the looming threat to success is the decisions those around us may make, which could derail us.
That is why, mid week, we announce to all parties “I’m painting the fence on Saturday!”
Painting may not be a glamorous as Olympic or commercial success, but the process is the identical; once the goal is set we must anticipate what could go wrong and increase our capacity to handle calamity.
For instance, an athlete may have trained meticulously for twelve years to be at the Olympics, then before the opening ceremony they learn they are required to walk 5km to the opening ceremony, stand waiting for three hours, then parade for several hours before walking home again. Read More
Recognising when to be brave.
My favorite scene in any movie is that moment when a key character realizes they can be the hero.
When Adrian finally tells Rocky to ‘win!’
When Frances finally commits to the bloody lift in Dirty Dancing.
When Dumbo finally realizes he doesn’t need the feather!
And in The Blindside when Michael finally uses his strength.
These stir emotion in all of us because deep in side we all hope that we are made from similar stuff. That when our moment comes, we will be able to step up to the plate. And in doing so we might inspire and serve those we love. We want the exhilaration of doing something brave and hard.
How To Not Be Crap At Public Speaking
Recently I watched a friend do a presentation that turned into a car crash! He is world class in his field but he lost the audience, big time. People were too polite to leave but the tension in the air was awkward and not a single person in the room had any interest in his message.
Every joke was met with silence. It was painful!
He came to me afterwards and with raised eyebrows that acknowledged he stuffed it. He was no fool. He knew he had bombed. “Where did it go wrong? I must have missed something? What happened?” he asked me.
I probably didn’t realize how much I knew about presenting until I found myself rattling off my observations.
I have way too much in my head and nothing is getting done!
After getting engaged, married and honeymooning in less than a year, work took a back seat. It has been awesome but now there is stuff to do everywhere. Gardens, emails, clients, banking, exercise, new projects, washing, family catch ups, friend catch ups and everyone seems to have a question I don’t know the answer to.
The bigger issue is the emotion that comes with it. Angst. Guilt. Worry. Cringe. Overwhelm. Frustration. Heaviness. I feel like I disappoint people in every direction.
Fortunately I have been here before and have learnt my way out. Logic says you make a list and start ticking stuff off, but I have never found that helps to address overwhelm. Read More